The OrphanageReadApparelently Crazy ⊃ Underwear Names
After I told Luna Wisker that I had gotten my nipples pierced, he exclaimed, "Why in the name of underwear did you do that?!?" That got me thinking. At first it sounded absurd, but then I decided to start naming my underwear. This is a fairly comprehensive list of all still-functioning underwear in my wardrobe.

Brand Style Size Description Name
2xist Low-Rise Brief Medium Soft cotton, solid black Tuck
Ultra-plush cotton, solid black Kerr
Sport Brief Medium Soft cotton, white with black hem Clarette
Brief Medium Soft cotton, dark heather gray Biggs
Black plain-cut (3) Sanford
Thong Medium Soft cotton, solid black Wedge
Soft cotton, dark heather gray Piette
Jockstrap Medium "Flash" line, red cotton Hubert
Addiction Boxers Medium Plush cotton with duck prints on blue Takeru
Plush cotton with smiley prints on black Emotibox
American Eagle Boxers Medium Crisp cotton with a large-band red, blue, and yellow plaid Clark
Large Crisp cotton with a light-blue picnic blanket plaid Andy
Crisp cotton with a red picnic blanket plaid Ann
Crisp cotton with light-blue and navy plaid Hassle
Crisp cotton with rose-red and navy plaid Franklin
Extra
Large
Textured cotton with in various blue pinstripes Bagley
C-IN2 Briefs Medium Navy nylon mesh with cyan strips Comet
Calvin Klein Thong Medium Black microfiber seamless Blob
Trunks Medium Riveria blue pro-mesh nylon Namor
Cherokee Boxers Medium Crisp cotton with sharks on black Jetsam
Crisp cotton with jellyfish on light-blue Derrick
Crisp cotton with white polka-dots on navy Dot
Crisp cotton with plum and cranberry plaid Lolita
Crisp cotton with light-blue and blue plaid Itsa
Crisp cotton with lavender and olive plaid Cassandra
Crisp cotton with red and orange plaid Ignis
Crisp cotton with olive and green plaid Karma
Crisp cotton with orange and blue plaid James
Large Crisp cotton with orange and blue plaid David
DT Underwear Low-Rise Brief Medium "Blue Blood": soft cotton, royal blue with white trim Billy
"High Voltage": soft cotton, scarlet red with white trim Jason
"Knight Rider": soft cotton, black with green trim Zach
"Tennis Pro": soft cotton, emerald green with white trim Tommy
"74 Print": firm cotton, red and orange pixelated print Rocky
"Artic Army": firm cotton, black and white camouflage print Adam
Gap Boxers Large Flannel with melting snowmen on orange Toasty
Flannel with melting snowmen on navy Frosty
Crisp cotton with polar bears on navy Ioryk
Medium Crisp cotton with big-ass snowflakes on blue Senorita
Crisp cotton with big-ass snowflakes on red Ecstasy
Flannel with red plaid Jack
Boxer-Briefs Medium Solid red Scarlet
Camouflage blues Charlie
Hawaiian print on navy Lilo
Large Heather pink Scarlation
Navy with white stripes Duo
Ginch Gonch Low-Rise Briefs Medium "Jolly Cocks": rooster print on red with gold trim Chanticleer
"Shooting Stars": red-and-white stars on light yellow with baby blue trim Castor
Briefs Medium "Firetrucks": fire engine print on white with yellow trim Newham
"Star (Big Bang)": blue-and-red crotch-positioned single-star print Polaris
"Pink Star F*!#ers": red-and-white stars on pink with red trim Betelgeuse
"Wiener Eaters": hot dog print on light blue with gold trim Oscar
"Piggie Bottoms": pink rear ends of pigs on red Snowball
Trunks Medium "Superhero": light blue with red hem --
"Star (Big Bang)": blue-and-red crotch-positioned single-star print Sirius
"Pink Star F*!#ers": red-and-white stars on pink with red trim Rigel
"Piggie Bottoms": pink rear ends of pigs on red Naploeon
"Shooting Stars": red-and-white stars on light yellow with baby blue trim Pollux
H & M Trunks Medium Smooth black nylon with textured stripes Felicia
The Hulk print in spandex Bruce
Navy spandex with red crotch trimmed by baby blue and white Steven
Large Solid yellow spandex with "for your eyes only" printed repeatedly Bond
Jockey Boxers Medium Nylon / Spandex in solid black Zach
Boxer-Briefs Medium Black with a large Y on the waistband Kent
Trunks Medium Nylon / Spandex in solid grey Leviath
Nylon / Spandex with wiggly prints on light grey Serpen
Nylon / Spandex with light-blue and navy micro-pinstripes
and a button fly
Ray
Joe Boxer Boxers Large Soft cotton in black with a grey trim Scott
Soft cotton in grey with a black trim Jean
Mossimo Boxer-Briefs Medium Black with white stripes Pinner
Black with grey sides Lucky
Mundo Unico Thong Medium Unstretchy but spandexy in aqua Seabiscuit
Suspensor Brief Medium "Triple XXX" line: solid mustard in stretchy fabric Martin
"Triple XXX" line: blue with multicolored circle print in stretchy fabric Eileen
Trunks Medium black fishnet-mesh Detah
Natural Instinct Boxers Large Soft cotton with leopard print in white and orange Kate
Soft cotton with leopard print in black and grey Leopald
Soft cotton with scale print in blue Blinky
Soft cotton with tiger print in orange and black Growlithe
Soft cotton with circle print in maroon and navy Archimedes
Soft cotton with leave prints in navy Autumn
Soft cotton in solid black with a broken waistband Mennen
Phys. Sci. Boxers Small Squishy cotton in solid navy Leonard
Towncraft Boxers Medium Soft cotton in black with an itchy-as-hell tag Gregory
Unknown Boxers Small Plush cotton with light-grey elephants on blue Babar
Medium Crisp cotton with light-blue and navy pinstripe-plaid
and a dragon / hippogriff decal
Merv

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